Health

Covishield Vs Covaxin! Do you even remember which one you took though?

New controversy alert, if you remember those forced vaccine shots the government asked you to take, well, now you may be at a risk of a rare side effect, TTS (we won’t bother with the full form, its complex and unimportant, trust me bro).

Covishield is under a lot of investigation and is confirmed by its maker AstraZeneca to be somewhat not the safest drug out there. Though rare, its potential severity can get serious including chest pain, breathing difficulties and the usual “this is it, my time has come” symptoms we all feel.

A debate has been sparked all over the internet with people who took covaxin turning out to be completely dissing on the other half. Half don’t even remember what the fuck they even took, or they don’t remember injecting  a syringe which did not get them high.

But you know, who won this game?

You guessed it, the people who took Coronil #Ramdev supremacy.

Honeslty, the debates and controversies just do not make sense for us Indians, if the vaccine had not come out for another couple of months, we would have just taken a paracetamol anyways.

Education

Highly Educated stay at home nerds!

“Bas college khatam karlo, fir toh aish hai”. We have heard this line probably at least once from our parents. Those late-night studies, those senseless algebra equations and that theorem you will never apply in your life, will all make sense when you get a job after IIT.

But is that the case?

RTI(Right to Information) published a report stating 46% students in IIT Hyderabad are up still looking for placements.

Getting into IIT is difficult enough, and your “yes I am the next Sundar Pichai” moment is short lived once you do get admission.  Imagine graduating, going back to your parents’ house, meeting the guy from arts section at the nearby tea stall and realizing that “tum bhi yahi ho, hum bhi yahi hai”.

Don’t fuck us with the problem, give the solution!

Here it is:

Realize it was all a lie, Sundar Pichai was a lucky son of a b, the only good thing about IIT is your memory of having smoke breaks and Maggi outside the campus and most importantly, fuck Pythagoras theorem for being more useless that IIT itself.

Technology

Go ahead, text her, the worst she can say is “NO”

Bumble rolls out new feature, let’s men start the conversation!

This is for all the men, we finally are equals, bumble has rolled out a new feature letting men start the conversation on their platform.

The new feature called “opening moves” will let female users set a prompt to which male users can respond to initiate a conversation.

 However, the bumble team overlooked the fact that us men did not want this power switch. They just made it one step easier for us to get horribly ignored and our male egos destroyed.

The bumble team stated that this was done as they believed women were in a position of power and wanted to level the playing field for everyone, hence, it would be safe to say that the team at bumble was recently replaced with stereotypical men(not verified, but certain)  unable to fathom women being in more power, we get it, giving power to women is like seeing a monkey on roller skates, it means nothing to them, but it amuses us.

Ayee, we don’t mean that, after all we took an active part in the “Me Too” movement, we had to, we were on the other side of the accusations mostly.

 But thanks Bumble, from all the men, now we got two dating apps screwing with us.

Sports

Garden mein ghoomne vale Bande: Our men in Blue

Cricket’s cash cow, the IPL, is the ultimate pseudo religion. The rags-to-riches stories notwithstanding, its kindness showers only upon private businessmen(Jio dhandhanadhan), their appointed politicians(think:Gautam Gambhir) and ofcourse the lanky young rebels who do their dirty work(hardik: hard no more)

BCCI’s cash cow has been meandering to new pastures. Gujarat was all-too welcoming to it.`Kuchh din toh Gujariye Gujarat mein' quickly turned to “duniya hila denge hum” bringing back local boy Hardik who has recently been captured riding on a blue-and-gold pony/piggybank in Mumbai rains. 

One up on anything Gujarat after 10 years must’ve titillated the Ambanis’ blue blood. BCCI attempted to get out of this fix by preemptively declaring Rohit Sharma as captain for the upcoming world cup. Having n-1 degrees of freedom for the world cup is no problem.

 Save a thought for KL Rahul, who publicly announced his intention of batting at 5 (typical keeper-batsman) where his India chances now seem to lie. Come the first match, he strode out to open with de Kock but no balls.

The worst however was reserved for an earnest hard working man. Cliche, isn't it? The earnest man for all crises, Rinku Singh has been cornered by this bully into World Cup omission. Having donated 50 lakhs for a sports hostel in his village when his IPL salary was 55 lakhs, he isnt new to giving back. The BCCI should look out for his middle finger the next time he takes guard.

Ahh, only if. Staying true to his resilience, Rinku promised to work hard till the day his average crosses Virat’s strike rate(against spin ofcourse :P)

Rinku’ ouster, although not as wild as the “3D” selection of yesteryears, bears ominous undertones. The leash further loosens as it now arrives in the US.We pray its horns don’t get in the way of the trophy. Even Oreo is scared to jinx this time.

Fuck impact players, bleed blue. All the best to our MenInBlue.

Dad Jokes:

We thought we’d do something different this time. Here’s a meme, learn from it boys, this one’s for you:

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